by Brian Burgoyne, Reporter
Before I saw Total Recall, I thought that all remakes were just overdone, over-hyped movies bent not on telling a story but on making money for the studios.
After watching the movie, my opinion has not changed.
It’s the end of the 21st century. The world has been devastated by chemical warfare. Living space is at a premium. Only two places on earth remain habitable: The United Federation of Britain and The Colony (a.k.a. Australia). Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell – Fright Night 2011) lives in the Colony commuting each day to the UFB for a lowly factory job by way of the Fall; a massive gravity elevator that travels through the planet. Although a hard worker, he feel he is meant for more than the life he lives. Frustrated by life, he goes to Rekall, a place that will implant memories into your brain as if you actually lived them. On the recommendation of the technician there, he chooses to have memories of a spy working for the Resistance against the government. That’s when all hell breaks loose.
Sounds like a good story, right? It really could have been.
The Good:
-They streamlined the story. All mention of mutants and Mars were removed and they kept the whole story on Earth. It made the story simpler.
-Kate Beckinsale (Underworld) as the “wife” was perfect. I wasn’t sure if she could play a villain before the movie. I now have no doubts.
-The visual effects were outstanding. If there is one good thing I can say about these remakes, they certainly don’t skimp on the money. That was obvious based on the amount of effects in this movie.
-The action sequences were well done. There is certainly no shortage of explosions, gunfire, and general mayhem.
The Bad:
-The Total Recall (2012) story, albeit streamlined, seemed less of the old Total Recall and more a mishmash of Total Recall, Blade Runner, and Bourne Identity. It honestly felt like they just borrowed from the other movies to change the story and make it new. Man doesn’t know who he is. Takes woman he just met (Jessica Biel – 7th Heaven) to old apartment to discover himself. Gets chased. Action scene. Action scene. Explosive ending. Cut. Print. The original was campy, to be sure, but at least you kept watching to find out what happens next. Even with the changes, I found myself looking into my bag to see if I brought any more snacks.
-Aside from the aforementioned Kate Beckinsale, they could have inserted anyone else into the other roles and I don’t think the audience would have noticed. The acting of Colin Farrell and Jessica Biel was pretty wooden. Outside of the action sequences, I didn’t really feel for their characters or really cared what happened. I thought perhaps there would be some good scenes with the great Bill Nighy but he was barely in it and again, his lines could have been said by some random person off the street and had the same effect.
-The constant nods to the old movie were distracting. Every time a reference was made to the old movie, I kept thinking about the old scenes and didn’t pay attention to the movie…except the scene with the three breasted woman…that was distracting in itself. Really? That’s what you chose to bring over to the new movie?
Overall, this movie didn’t live up to expectations. Normal ticket price where I am is 8 dollars. I paid 5 because it was an early morning show. I wouldn’t pay more than that to see it.
ComicsOnline gives Total Recall (2012) 2 out of 5 memories of better movies.
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