by Jayden Leggett, Assistant Editor
Ladies and gentleman, it has finally happened. It took a little longer than I expected, but finally somebody has taken notice of my dashing good looks, incredible physique and raw sexual prowess and written a book about me. OK, well maybe the story was already in place regardless of myself, and not necessarily about me, but in a rather fun twist, Blood Lust by Sarah Clapham comes from U Star Novels personalized erotica range, and thus I got to be the star in my own sexual adventure. And it was hot!
First things first, before I could receive my new most favorite book ever, I first had to fill out an online form to provide the information about my own unique details. Specifics such as names, skin tones, eye color and even nipple color are all able to be tweaked (pun intended). FYI, my imaginary vixen’s name is Veronica Jones, whom is apparently a dark haired, tanned vixen with caramel colored nipples and hazel eyes who enjoys risotto and cotton panties. Feel free to contact me for help on your movie scripts or novel drafts, because I am clearly a creative powerhouse.
Once that fateful day came when I finally received the book, I couldn’t help but have the hugest cheesy grin across my face within moments of turning the pages. My deliberately cutesy nicknames of “cherry pie” and “stud muffin” made me giggle like the inner immature school boy that I am, and on many occasions I was literally laughing out loud after reading passages such as “Jayden flicked his tongue across the rounded swell of her caramel nipples, smiling as they stiffened in response to its wet tip”. Apparently I also drive a Lamborghini. Oh, I slay me…
However Blood Lust isn’t just about the self gratification one gets when reading about themselves in an erotic adventure (even though I did get a huge kick about how in this fictional world I am a well-toned hunk with broad shoulders that are well suited for hoisting my lover’s legs over). In terms of the story content, the book is quite well written, with very descriptive text about the locations involved, and visuals that really painted a vivid picture in my mind. Particularly when it came to the sex scenes. For the love of god, do not let children get a hold of this book.
In fact, the word “erotica” is putting it as mildly as possible. This book is practically full-blown porn in literature form. Admittedly I did choose the “wild” version as opposed to the “mild” version, but I was almost taken by surprise at some of the incredibly raunchy and graphic content that occurs. In all seriousness, porn directors could learn a lot of useful tips from this book, as many parts were just downright dirty, but in a good and non-smutty way. For the sake of artistic integrity I shall refrain from using specific examples of some of the more extreme and explicit content, but if I can use fruit to help paint a picture, let’s just say that a particular shower scene involves a banana being rubbed between two melons that finishes with cream being generously squirted across said melons. Obvious much?
Trying to steer clear of describing more of the sexual content, the main premise is about a romantic couple (Veronica and I) going on a holiday to a Greek island that begins with an orgy on the beach, only with the couple finding out that their night of promiscuity has resulted in them becoming vampires. Vampires who love crazy gravity defying sex and bedroom toys designed for use in ones gluteus maximus. And S&M. And bondage. And the word “vulva”. Alright, so it is pretty much impossible to not mention the erotic content in this book, as a sex scene occurs approximately every ten pages or less. Thankfully the non-sexual components of this story were entertaining overall, and Clapham actually managed to work in the majority of the sexual content in a way that fits in with the story line and the desire (or “lust”, if you will) for blood and passion.
The highlights of the book for me (apart from reading about myself being a total stud of course) are when the romantic couple are realizing their new found vampire powers, and my character uses incredible strength and speed to chase down a thief on a moped and toss him around like a rag doll. Segments like this were fun and made me feel like I was a super hero in my very own personalized and incredibly sexy story (which, obviously, is more or less the entire point of the book).
Blood Lust isn’t without its (admittedly minor) flaws. Some of the dialogue that the main characters say is a bit uninspired and unimaginative, and certain (non-sexual) actions that the characters perform occasionally don’t make any sense. Having said that, the book is much more hit than miss, and the overarching story was of a creative and entertaining standard.
All in all, if you are anything like me and would get a huge egotistical kick out of starring in your own sexual adventure, then Blood Lust definitely fits the bill. A word of advice though, don’t read this book if you are desperately lonely (like myself). It only makes things worse… and I’m still waiting for my wrist to regain it’s full strength…
ComicsOnline gives Blood Lust 4 out of 5 vampire vulvas.