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Editorial: Movies That DON’T Need A Reboot/Remake

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by Mike Lunsford, Editor

Just a few days ago, I dug up an old article from GGR about movies that need a sequel/remake/reboot. We even talked about it on the podcast last week. In that same podcast, we also talked about movies that maybe shouldn’t get remade or rebooted. Movies that were perfectly fine the way they were. For one reason or another, Hollywood keeps going back to the well with these films and keeps making sequels or remakes. So, let’s take a look at some movies that are either in talks of getting rebooted or they made the mistake of re-doing recently.

 

The Top 5 Movie Franchises That DON’T Need a Sequel or Remake

5. Top Gun

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I can already hear drunken juicebags singing that song at karaoke.

Look Frat bros, I know you guys love this movie as much as you love aviator sunglasses and polo shirts with their collars popped, but this movie was not that good. The action scenes were awesome, but anytime there was person to person interaction, it makes you want to stab yourself in the eyes and ears. I don’t care how cool the F-14 Tomcat is, LEAVE THIS ALONE! You’re doing that thing where you remember things fondly from your childhood and you’re putting them on a pedestal.

5a. For that matter…ANYTHING THAT WAS GOOD FROM THE 80’S!!!!!

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Walkmans, floppy disks,Nintendo and the VCR: all things that were great in the 80’s… and then we moved on when they became obsolete!

 

Flight of the Navigator, Overboard, Scarface, Weird Science, Goonies

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What do all of those movies have in common? Every single one of those 80’s classics is being worked for a sequel/reboot/abomination. Look, I get why Hollywood does this, and it makes logical sense, but it’s infuriating. I don’t want all the things I enjoyed as a kid recycled and repacked and put back in front of me for consumption. Creative concepts, new ideas… Jesus! Is that too much to ask? Instead of taking something that exists and doing their take on it, writers are now getting paid to be lazy. I HATE THAT! They did it to poor Robocop! There was nothing wrong with the original (okay, the sequels sucked).

4. The Naked Gun

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wait… this joke doesn’t work when it’s written.

At first I was very upset about seeing this but we should note that the people writing this are Thomas Lennon, Ben Garant and Ed Helms. Lennon and Garant  are known for their roles and writing ability from The State, Viva Variety, and Reno 911! and have worked on many famous, high grossing movies, the two of them writing movies that have grossed over a billion dollars. I’m not saying I’m happy about them messing with something that meant so much to me as a kid., but I have faith in these two. I loved the State. They have mentioned it would NOT be a reboot, it would be a sequel, and an homage written by fans of the original would not be so bad…maybe.

3. Point Break

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“I heard they’re trying to remake Roadhouse, too. I’m coming back… and roundhouse kicking everyone involved.”

Unfortunately…this already happened. I really don’t get it. Do you really think there was even a snowball’s chance in Hell that the remake could even hold a candle to the original? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? You can’t just call something Point Break and recreate this amazingly cheesy/awesome action flick. It can’t be done! Gary Busey asking Utah to get him two meatball sammiches? Who’s going to ask for that now? Samuel L Jackson because he’s in everything? Just stop doing this!

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“HEY! CRACKER A$$ UTAH! Get me two of those muthafu**as!!!”

2. Drop Dead Fred

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This is my favorite scene from one of my favorite movies. Russell…please stop doing remakes bud.

Russell Brand…dude…your name is attached to this.  I love your social commentary. I love that you’re not just some idiot celebrity. You were hilarious in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It’s one of my favorite comedies. BUT PLEASE STOP SIGNING ON TO DO REMAKES!!! You’re better than this!

1. It’s A Wonderful Life

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“Please God tell me they’re not trying to remake my classic.” I am so sorry Jimmy Stewart, but they are.

DO NOT TOUCH THIS MOVIE. Is “laziness, avarice and greed” the mission statement of whatever production studio is making this? I mean…if it’s in Latin, then it looks classy…but I digress. This pisses me off so much.This movie is a classic. It’s in the same category as Casablanca and Citizen Kane, which never got sequels for a good reason; they don’t need one. Jimmy Stewart’s ghost will haunt you forever if you make this movie.

 

Things aren’t all doom and gloom though when it comes to dealing with rehashed ideas from the past. Stranger Things was inspired by movies of the 70’s and 80’s and it was phenomenal; not derivative or a cheap knock off by any stretch of the imagination. The Ryan Reynolds Amittyville Horror was better than the original. Star Trek Beyond has been well received by both critics and fans alike. There is hope out there when it comes to reboots/remakes and such… but you have to be VERY careful. Red Dawn remake? crap. Dirty Dancing sequel? Hot, smelly garbage. Karate Kid with Will Smith Jr and Jackie Chan? ehhhhh. the original was a classic, this was just okay. Robocop rebootIt tried WAY too hard to have a message and it pales in comparison to the original. For the majority of things, it’s best to come up with an original idea and show your love for these previous works with an homage but again…that wouldn’t be lazy or cheap now would it?

Let’s leave on a glimmer of hope; Robert Zemeckis, director of one of my favorite movies of all time, Back to the Future, has flatly declined any possibility of another Back to the Future film. Thank you Mr. Zemeckis for having some sense and not being tempted by a giant pile of cash.

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“My exact words were ‘over my dead body.'” OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!

 

I don’t rant often, but this topic in particular is one of my hot button issues. There are so many great writers out there who have creative concepts and stories. Give them a chance, Hollywood execs. Stop pandering to laziness and easy wins.

 

Whether it’s rants about the state of movies, comic books, video games, or movies, we’ve got you covered at ComicsOnline.com. Don’t forget to like us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and our podcast on iTunes for everything geek pop culture!

About Mike Lunsford

Mike is an editor at ComicsOnline and a co-host on the ComicsOnline podcast. He's from the DC area in Virginia. He's also the co-creator of the comic book, Ethan Stone P.I.

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