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Movie Review: Cocaine Bear

by Greg Uke, Reporter

Long ago, in the BC era, I wasn’t a fan of horror comedies. 

But my friends, BC stands for “Before Cocaine Bear”. 

I went into the theater expecting this movie to be unbearable, and left with a big smile on my face. The main thing to bear in mind when watching this movie is never to get attached to anything that walks on two legs. If you cheer for the bear, even barely, you will never be disappointed.

The overall premise appears barren at the outset (a bear on cocaine), but this artfully kooky film shares much in common with comedies like Snatch or Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. There are a multitude of well written characters, each with their own barefaced goals and interpersonal relationships, but the bear inevitably barrels onto each scene and murders everyone or messes everything up in its endless search for more blow. And it works.  

So, despite all the characters doing their own thing, this movie is indeed about the bear. 

At no point does this film take itself too seriously, as some horror comedies do. Some of the characters do try, but the bear remains a farcical trashy force of nature throughout. It is full of boo moments and barrels of laughs, even when things become unbearably gory around the middle. The execution is artful enough that nothing feels lacking, because….let’s be honest, you know why you went to see a movie called Cocaine Bear (hopefully), so delivering on that promise is only proper. And it does. In spades. 

The action jumps around between a multitude of characters, many of whom are winnowed in classic horror fashion. Christian Convery steals the show in his role as Henry, the foul mouthed friend of Dee Dee (Brooklynn Prince) who skips school to visit a national park. Behind him a special shout out also goes to the acclaimed Emmy-winning actress Margo Martindale, who plays a smitten middle-aged park ranger whose surliness and suspension of disbelief provide great off-kilter charm. The bromance between O’Shea Jackson (Howard) and Alden Ehrenreich (Eddie Dentwood) is interesting to watch, as both actors provide a dose of disbelief and common sense that throw the bears zanyness into stark relief. 

I have seen and heard Elizabeth Banks in many movies, but I had no idea the LEGO Movie’s “Wildstyle” was secretly the movie director behind Cocaine Bear…or Charlie’s Angels (2019). This realization hit me much the same way Mark Hamill did when I found out Luke Skywalker was actually the Joker in Batman: The Animated Series. Which is to say, shocked disbelief followed by a bunch of manly squeeing over how awesome that is.  

All in all, I found this movie great fun. Anyone looking for a reason to get offended will find plenty of ammunition in this film; from children cursing and accidentally snorting cocaine to black men getting shot to women being mauled, it has something for everyone to get mad about. Ray Liotta is the closest thing we have to a villain in his portrayal of the drug dealer Dentwood, and his demise is satisfying enough that it feels like a bad guy got defeated. 

Right alongside everyone else.

Overall
Rating: ★★★★½
ComicsOnline gives Cocaine Bear 4 out of 5 ridiculous movies. Just go see it for yourself.

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