by Kevin Gaussoin, Editor-in-Chief
Official Synopsis:
THE BIGGEST ISSUE IN AMAZING SPIDER-HISTORY! Spider-Man faces his greatest fear and his most frightening new villain in decades… RAVAGE! Plus, some of the greatest creative minds on Earth honor one thousand issues of THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN! NOAH HAWLEY (Alien: Earth, Fargo, LEGION) makes his comic book debut, Frank Miller and Peach Momoko collaborate for the first time, Stuart Immonen and Brian Michael Bendis return to Spider-Man together, and some of the best ASM creators return to the title!
Review:
Amazing Spider-Man has finally hit issue #1000! Much like the bazillion covers, there were good stories, there were great stories, and there were… other stories. Let’s get swingin’!
“Ravaged” by Joe Kelly & Pepe Larraz
Rating: 
4/5 thwips of relief!
This is the ASM reveal we’ve been waiting for! Meet Ravage! No longer a cassette lovingly cradled inside Soundwave’s bosom, he’s now showing his true face and his powers are…what now? Oh, this dude should not have gone there. He’s doomed already. Sure, his eventual fate is already telegraphed super hard, but he’s got it coming. I would have preferred to have concluded this arc in this ninety-five page issue, but I get it, tune in next time. Thanks for making this make sense, Joe Kelly.
“Still Standing” by Noah Hawley & Patrick Gleason
Rating: 5/5 new spider-verses!
This was the best story in the issue! This story might be the best reason why to buy the book! We know and love Noah Hawley from his screenwriting (Fargo, Legion, Alien:Earth) but dude also had a banger of a future story in store for a geriatric Peter Parker. Sure, we’ve seen various takes on “Old Man Pete” over the years, but this one could really end up going further than even the MC2 universe if Marvel takes advantage of this tale. A story this beautifully haunting and tear-jerking deserves a sequel. (We want more MC2! -Kevin & Matt)
“Requiem for a Goblin” by JM DeMatteis & Humberto Ramos
Rating: 4/5 tears
A sweet and sad look back at a funeral for a friend. You can’t go wrong with a classic from DeMatteis, and Ramos is always a favorite as well.
“Tears of the Spider-Queen” by Frank Miller & Peach Momoko
Rating: 2/5 freaky freaks
As always, Momoko’s art is spooky and cool, but I just didn’t care for this story or about the guest character. I love Frank Miller, but this left me perplexed that it was written by him. It was as quick as it was queer, so thanks for that.
“The Big Night” by Triple H & Ed McGuinness
Rating: 3/5 small popcorns
As the final page suggests, this short story is just a bit of popcorn. I think I might have put it between the first two stories as a palate cleanser or as a cute final story, but here it is instead.
“The Gesture” by Brian Michael Bendis & Stuart Immonen
Rating: 4/5 trophies from Cap
It’s nice to see Bendis writing a Spider story again, we’ve missed him a lot. This was even better after a second read. While other stories in this issue were pulling our heartstrings with the sweet sadness of loss, this one plucked at a secondary Spider-vulnerability: FOMO. I’m gonna spoil it for you here: Peter was too busy fighting bad guys to respond quickly to his summons to Avengers Mansion and thus missed a party in his honor…and free food! Quit stressing me out, Bendis!
“Of Webs and Six-Guns” Larry Lieber & Giuseppe Camuncoli
Rating: 2/5 awkward westerns
It seemed like the whole reason this story existed was to let us know that The Rawhide Kid also lost an Uncle Ben. I hated the lipstick part.
“I Can Never Rest” by Dan Slott & Marcos Martin
Rating: 5/5 sweet endings
It might be a bit cliché by now to take a tiny little background character and tell their version of the big important story, but that Dan Slott is a master storyteller, so whatevs, I’m in. Marcos Martin and colorist Muntsa Vicente make the art feel like a visual coda to Tim Sale’s iconic Spider-Man: Blue. Story-wise, it’s one perfect thank you to not only Spider-Man, but also all the creators and fans.
And now for a bit of editorializing…
Okay, so ASM Editor Nick Lowe is clearly still on the pro-“One More Day” and anti- Peter/MJ tip to the degree that I no longer think he’s merely drunk the kool-aid, but he’s now manufacturing his own batches to try and convince us that we liked that decision all along, nearly two decades later. It shows in the lipstick. It shows in the questions he asked of prior Spider-creators, and is certainly shows in both storylines and letters pages over the years.
Sure, I’d have done things differently. While I recognize armchair dream casting of big milestone books like this stretch possibility, I feel like I could have planned things out far enough to get more stories from more iconic creators. For writers on a book like this I’d want scribes who can make us feel all the feels and for that of course, we need Brad Meltzer! Okay, while we’re at it, I’d also want people like Marv Wolfman, Tom King, Steven Moffat, JM Straczynski, Brian K Vaughn, and Jason Aaron. I’d want interior art by all the most iconic Spider-Man artists still available. I’d of course want Arthur Adams because Web of Spider-Man Annual #2, yo. But there are so many missing. Sure we got a Larraz and a Ramos, but conspicuously absent are Chris Bachalo, Mark Bagley, JRJR, Erik Larsen, Todd McFarlane, Ryan Stegman, Olivier Coipel, Ron Frenz (we still want more MC2), J Scott Campbell, Mike Deodato, and the Dodsons.
Well enough of that wish parade. What are your favorites for Amazing Spider-Man 1000? Best story? Best cover? Creative team you were hoping for? Let us know!
Rating:
ComicsOnline gives Amazing Spider-Man #1000 four (out of five) digit milestones for our favorite character!
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