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DVD Review: Breaking Wind

by Chris Kane, Reviewer

A mere year after the release of the critically panned Vampires Suck, director Craig Moss (Bad Ass, The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It) weighs in with his direct-to-DVD spoof of the Twilight saga, Breaking Wind.  This film struck me as being a celluloid version of that knock-knock joke.  You know the one that goes knock-knock (who’s there?) I eat mop (I eat mop who?)  HA HA!  Yeah, Breaking Wind is a little like that joke: moronic, scatological, and kinda funny!

A homicidal group of newborn vampires begins stalking Bella, (Heather Ann Davis – Swingtown, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls) and it’s up to hunky vampire, Edward Colon, (Eric Callero – The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It) his ever-noshing werewolf rival Jacob Black, (Frank Pacheco – Glee, Bones, Heroes) and their respective feuding families to band together to protect her.

I’ve been a fan of the spoof film since I saw Airplane!  So I was mentally prepared to indulge in a movie that is meant to be little more than one long, bad pun.  Airplane! is arguably the Godfather of spoof films, and though Breaking Wind falls short of Airplane!’s playful (often clever) silliness, there are scenes that elicit laughter (though not the type that culminates in a fart).  I dare you not to chortle at the attack of the Johnny Depp characters!  There is something so wrong (yet so right) about watching (Burton’s) Willy Wonka (cheerful rictus and all) administer a serious beat down with his dandy walking stick. I challenge you not to crack a smile at Danny Trejo’s (Runaway Train, Machete) dead-pan telling of the Transformer/Cap’n Crunch -laced tribal history of the werewolves!  I defy you not to chuckle at the pokes at TMZ and social networks!  Although the spaces between giggles can feel a little long, Breaking Wind delivers some laughs.

Trejo spins a tale of Autobots and Cap’n Crunch

The acting is roughly on par with similar spoof films of the last decade.  Frank Pacheco is likeable, and even looks like a chubby Taylor Lautner!  Heather Ann Davis’s Bella is a refreshing break from the EMO-tionless delivery of Kristen Stewart, and Eric Callero’s brooding, overly-coifed Edward answers that ubiquitous question:  What would the vampire offspring of Luke Perry and Jason Priestly (circa Beverly Hills: 90210) look like?

FX

There aren’t any.  Don’t expect any vampires vamping out, or morphing werewolves.  We only know the jorts-clad corpulent clan are werewolves because we’re told.  Perhaps the effects budget went to hiring Trejo.  Money well spent, say I. 

Special Features

•    Behind the Scenes: Ostensibly Breaking Wind is dedicated to Twi-Hards.  Pointed at may be marginally more accurate.  The closing credits are punctuated with unsettling videos of Twi-Hards geeking out.  The mean spirited inclusion of these videos is somewhat mitigated by the making of featurette that portrays the director as a fan of the saga, and shows his jesting is all in good fun.

•    The Heartwarming Embrace of Edward and Jacob:  Lycanthrope and vampire homoeroticism!

•    Commentary with writer/director and cast.

Overall

Breaking Wind has some moments which make you laugh despite yourself.  There is plenty of gas passed, and one character who occasionally pops into frame to let us know she’s just taken a massive dump. If you’re not amused by a lot of farting, (note: there are no real fart jokes, just a lot of farting) not tickled by genital size jokes, (men and women: one word–cavernous) or premature “imprinting” then Breaking Wind may not be your thing.

ComicsOnline gives Breaking Wind 2.5 silent but violent blasts out of 5.

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